I am wildly, madly in love with Chris Brokaw. I watch him sleep in his giant king size bed and I just want to hang out with him but he will not wake up. He is sleeping all day and it's making me crazy. Doesn't he have work to do? I try to rouse him, saying, "You have to finish The New Year record, you're running out of time!" He rolls over and mumbles, "(garble garble nonsense) Matt Kadane! (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)."
I guess I'm going to have to finish The New Year record myself. I reach into the drawer of the bedside table for a pen and paper, but it's empty except for a gun. A handgun! Unloaded, but still. We would never have a gun, and immediately I know it belongs to another of Chris's collaborators, the troubled one. This has gone too far. I am going to have to give him the What-For.
I know that he happens to be in court this day, because of his recent Indecent Exposure charge. The courtroom is giant and empty, more like a ballroom, and he is standing onstage with a judge who is looking over his glasses at this ridiculous perpetrator (played by Sam Rockwell) who has come to court in satin boxers and a robe and nothing else.
I realize this is a lost cause, so I leave. I'm going to meet Charla Reid at the bakery to help pick out treats for her combination Chinese New Year/Mardi Gras party. On my way there, I walk through a bunch of little Asian and Mexican grocery/convenience stores. All the Korean stores have aisles of maracas and sombreros, and the Mexican stores are filled with rows of Chinese fireworks and papier mache dragons and red envelopes.
It's good that I happened on them, because when I get to the bakery, Charla is dismayed to find that they only have Polish pastries now, which won't work for either side of the party. I point out the convenience stores near my office, and we figure out where to order beads and king cakes online. The day is saved!
Since I'm at the bakery, I pick up treats to take to the first meeting of Joel Derfner's sixteen bridesmaids for his upcoming wedding to his husband to whom he is already married. I'm honored to be included and so thrilled to see Joel, but these ladies are insanely high maintenance. They seem to think that they get to make all the decisions, and Joel just pays for everything. I suggest to Joel that he and I go get a drink and some shrimp cocktail and catch up, but really I am giving him tough love about his friends, who should be helping him, and working to fulfill his desires for his wedding, and paying for their own damn dresses and hair and makeup and whatever. Those bitches didn't even like my Polish pastries.
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