We are having another wedding. ANOTHER ONE. How many times can we do this? It's at a summer camp in North Carolina where two of Chris's young cousins are working. This celebration is for the Pennsylvania branch of the family - some aunts, uncles, and cousins of Chris's whom I've never met [because they aren't real].
We are staying in a really swanky hotel - large, with Georgian paneling and pilasters, too many elevators that stop on mezzanines, crowded with fancy people. My parents have a room down the hall, and we are waiting for my brother to arrive from London.
We drive over to the camp to visit with everyone there - the whole family has driven down from Pennsylvania and New Jersey and we hang out and visit at picnic tables while pre-teen campers do camp things with camp counselors.
Chris's cousin Victoria (played by Victoria Alden, our actual quasi-cousin) stomps across the grounds and starts complaining about how her kids are not learning how to sing properly. She has a Master's in music, for heaven's sake, and no one listens to her. I try to explain to her that kids are not really that interested in her academic credentials, and if she wants to engage them, she needs to choose something that is fun to sing, that they can move to, that they are motivated to learn well and stretch themselves for. She scoffs at me like I'm a complete idiot. After all, these kids signed up for camp chorus, when they could have been sailing or making lanyard bracelets.
This is a weird place to have a wedding, I think.
We then go over to the other cousin's cabin, where he is sitting in a pile of messy bedding on the floor playing video games. Chris's cousin is Jesse Eisenberg, actual Jesse Eisenberg, not just played by Jesse Eisenberg. He and his surroundings are filthy and he isn't wearing any pants. I tell him maybe he should put on some pants, and he scoffs. These cousins apparently think they know everything.
Jesse used to be an Olympic swimmer (I notice he is rather fish-shaped, though I try not to stare, because he's not wearing any pants) and he's bitter because now he has to lead swimming activities at this pedestrian summer camp. He makes an extremely lame, quarter-hearted attempt at seducing me, in front of Chris (he doesn't even get off the floor), and I just roll my eyes and say, "We're here for our WEDDING. The THIRD ONE. Sheesh."
We go back to the hotel to get changed, and my brother finally shows up with two huge steamer trunks and about 30 suitcases. My parents are thrilled. Am I the only one who thinks maybe he overpacked?
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